Marriage things...

I’ve extract this from CARI forum. Opinion from one of the forummer, cantthinkofany. How true it is, hanya yg bergelar "ISTERI" boleh menjwbnya.

‘there is one title in the world which once the woman's got it she will end up doing so much pengorbanan until she could not remember whether she is doing it out of her will or not...and that title is no other than the title "ISTERI"..gua rasa hanya dalam novel je yang mana sang isteri boleh mendapatkan apa yang terhajat dihati mengikut kemahuan diri sendiri...kalau in real life tak de la kot...kalau ada pun mungkin pada segelintiran para isteri yang bertuah didunia yang fana ini...sebab itulah ALLAH mempermudahkan syarat-syarat bagi sang isteri untuk menempah kedudukan di syurga....bukan sedikit pengorbanan yang diharapkan...jika disuruh meletakkan tanda harga, tidak akan ada satu pun pakar ekonomi di dunia ini yang dapat meletakkan harga...it is definitely priceless...

pengorbanan fizikal...
1. melayan nafkah bathin suami yang kekadang disertai kelembutan dan adakalanya disertai kekasaran tanpa mengira belas kasihan..hanya sang isteri layu bersama tangisan...
2. mengandungkan anak selama sembilan bulan sepuluh hari dan kemudian berhmpas pulas bersabung ngan nyawa untuk melahirkannya...
3. menjaga makan dan pakai anak-anak dan suami...adakalanya mereka belum bangun dari tidur yang lena tapi sang isteri dah mula menyibukkan diri di dapur yang merupakan sebahagian besar dunianya...dan ada ketikanya mereka sudah lena dibuai mimpi malam yang indah tapi sang iseri masih lagi bersengkang mata mengemaskan rumah menjadi indah...

perngorbanan emosi...
1. melayan perubahan emosi suami yang adakalanya tak tentu arah...marah tak bersebab mengatakan isterinya lembab
2. anak-anak yang tidak mengerti erti kepayahan kerana terlalu dilimpahi kasih sayang sang ibu yang tak berbelah bagi...menengking mengherdik bila kemahuannya tidak dituruti...
3. memendam rasa bila keluarga sendiri mula menyisihkan diri akibat sang isteri difikirkan terlalu mementingkan diri sendiri dan tidak lagi datang enziarahi
4. menjerut perasaan bila keluarga belah sang suami terlalu mengongkong aktiviti sang suami...maklum lah suami anak mithali dan hati ibu sang suami harus dimengerti...

begitulah sedikit sebanyak pengorbanan sang isteri...tiada noktah berhenti...tiada siapa mengerti...hanya wanita yang bergelar "ISTERI"...

Pengalaman menjd isteri, walaupun baru menghampiri usia 4 tahun, mungkin terlalu muda untuk menilai, tetapi bbrp perkara yg boleh aku simpulkan utk satu perkahwinan yg common (maksud aku masalah2 persefahaman, family, kerja, etc dan bkn melibatkan kes suami isteri yg extraordinary i.e, drug addict, extra marital affair,etc). Apa yg aku tulis adalah pengalaman pemerhatian sendiri...

Early years of marrige (normally before the arrival of 'org baru') is the most critical time n women are normally emotionally suffered. Coz women enter marriage with fairy tale expectation and discover that her man is actually not the prince charming (but most fail to realize that he actually is, but she got to groom him to become one). Both did not truely understand each other inside out, ego, etc. 'Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side' - Zig Zigklar.

Most wife think that the hubby did not understand them (and i believe it is vice versa). They feel abandoned. Small matters can seems to be big such as household chores, 'balik kg' preferences, choosen of words or expression, habits, etc.

Woman love to write their feeling (coz sometime we weren't dare or too hopeless to discuss). Means can be through email, blog, sms, or even on paper (bergantung pd kreativiti). But funny, when we read that again (lepas dah hilang marah) it seems that what we wrote on that paper is very inappropriate and melampau (ni yg jadik kes tolong delete email suami sebelum dia sempat bukak..hehe).

What woman fail to see is their man (whom we married with love not 'terpaksa' or 'dipaksa' ek!) is actually trying hard to understand us but in his own way which is normally undertood by women as 'buat tak kisah' aje. women have to accept that men are simple, they are not systematic, they hate discussion on improving life in a formal way, etc but don't underestimate their ignorance. I've discovered this after 3yrs of marriage. I realize that when we keep on asking or nagging on or hubby to be like we want them to be, to understand us, then we will be dissapointed. But when we let him be whoever he is, we will be surprised to discover that he actually becoming more and more like what we expect.


arrrrrrghhhhhh...aku tak sempat nak tulis daaaa...i'll be writing again once we install streamyx at home..tak tau lah bila.