Marriage things...

I’ve extract this from CARI forum. Opinion from one of the forummer, cantthinkofany. How true it is, hanya yg bergelar "ISTERI" boleh menjwbnya.

‘there is one title in the world which once the woman's got it she will end up doing so much pengorbanan until she could not remember whether she is doing it out of her will or not...and that title is no other than the title "ISTERI"..gua rasa hanya dalam novel je yang mana sang isteri boleh mendapatkan apa yang terhajat dihati mengikut kemahuan diri sendiri...kalau in real life tak de la kot...kalau ada pun mungkin pada segelintiran para isteri yang bertuah didunia yang fana ini...sebab itulah ALLAH mempermudahkan syarat-syarat bagi sang isteri untuk menempah kedudukan di syurga....bukan sedikit pengorbanan yang diharapkan...jika disuruh meletakkan tanda harga, tidak akan ada satu pun pakar ekonomi di dunia ini yang dapat meletakkan harga...it is definitely priceless...

pengorbanan fizikal...
1. melayan nafkah bathin suami yang kekadang disertai kelembutan dan adakalanya disertai kekasaran tanpa mengira belas kasihan..hanya sang isteri layu bersama tangisan...
2. mengandungkan anak selama sembilan bulan sepuluh hari dan kemudian berhmpas pulas bersabung ngan nyawa untuk melahirkannya...
3. menjaga makan dan pakai anak-anak dan suami...adakalanya mereka belum bangun dari tidur yang lena tapi sang isteri dah mula menyibukkan diri di dapur yang merupakan sebahagian besar dunianya...dan ada ketikanya mereka sudah lena dibuai mimpi malam yang indah tapi sang iseri masih lagi bersengkang mata mengemaskan rumah menjadi indah...

perngorbanan emosi...
1. melayan perubahan emosi suami yang adakalanya tak tentu arah...marah tak bersebab mengatakan isterinya lembab
2. anak-anak yang tidak mengerti erti kepayahan kerana terlalu dilimpahi kasih sayang sang ibu yang tak berbelah bagi...menengking mengherdik bila kemahuannya tidak dituruti...
3. memendam rasa bila keluarga sendiri mula menyisihkan diri akibat sang isteri difikirkan terlalu mementingkan diri sendiri dan tidak lagi datang enziarahi
4. menjerut perasaan bila keluarga belah sang suami terlalu mengongkong aktiviti sang suami...maklum lah suami anak mithali dan hati ibu sang suami harus dimengerti...

begitulah sedikit sebanyak pengorbanan sang isteri...tiada noktah berhenti...tiada siapa mengerti...hanya wanita yang bergelar "ISTERI"...

Pengalaman menjd isteri, walaupun baru menghampiri usia 4 tahun, mungkin terlalu muda untuk menilai, tetapi bbrp perkara yg boleh aku simpulkan utk satu perkahwinan yg common (maksud aku masalah2 persefahaman, family, kerja, etc dan bkn melibatkan kes suami isteri yg extraordinary i.e, drug addict, extra marital affair,etc). Apa yg aku tulis adalah pengalaman pemerhatian sendiri...

Early years of marrige (normally before the arrival of 'org baru') is the most critical time n women are normally emotionally suffered. Coz women enter marriage with fairy tale expectation and discover that her man is actually not the prince charming (but most fail to realize that he actually is, but she got to groom him to become one). Both did not truely understand each other inside out, ego, etc. 'Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side' - Zig Zigklar.

Most wife think that the hubby did not understand them (and i believe it is vice versa). They feel abandoned. Small matters can seems to be big such as household chores, 'balik kg' preferences, choosen of words or expression, habits, etc.

Woman love to write their feeling (coz sometime we weren't dare or too hopeless to discuss). Means can be through email, blog, sms, or even on paper (bergantung pd kreativiti). But funny, when we read that again (lepas dah hilang marah) it seems that what we wrote on that paper is very inappropriate and melampau (ni yg jadik kes tolong delete email suami sebelum dia sempat bukak..hehe).

What woman fail to see is their man (whom we married with love not 'terpaksa' or 'dipaksa' ek!) is actually trying hard to understand us but in his own way which is normally undertood by women as 'buat tak kisah' aje. women have to accept that men are simple, they are not systematic, they hate discussion on improving life in a formal way, etc but don't underestimate their ignorance. I've discovered this after 3yrs of marriage. I realize that when we keep on asking or nagging on or hubby to be like we want them to be, to understand us, then we will be dissapointed. But when we let him be whoever he is, we will be surprised to discover that he actually becoming more and more like what we expect.


arrrrrrghhhhhh...aku tak sempat nak tulis daaaa...i'll be writing again once we install streamyx at home..tak tau lah bila.

Anjing Meong

Yesterday we went to Teluk Cempedak coz I have appointment with one of my biz partner (...). Singgat kat satu nursery yg byk sepanjang jln ke TC. Abah nak beli buluh kuning. Ariz tertarik ngan sekor puppy yg kiut kepunyaan tokey nursery tu
he said, ma, nak meong!
then abah said..no, it's not meong. It's anjing!
Ariz ckp..ma, nak anjing!
hayyo....pening aku!
tokey nursery ngan customer yg ada kat situ tersengih ngan gelagat dia.

Ariz @ 2 tahun 3 bulan

I always had this 'uneasy' feeling when it comes to write something about ariz. i'm afraid of what people will think when they had come across my page. I'm very sure that all mommies out there will think that their kid are owiz the best, the cleverest, the comelest, the funniest, etc. So am I tho' i know that my ariz is not the kind of 'adiputra' type of kid. And i'm afraid that it might shown thro' my writing. (and readers, please be in mind that this is for my record only..heheh)

Sebenarnya tak terkejar aku nak menulis ttg ariz. terlalu cepat dia membesar dan berkembang tak berkadar dgn masa yg aku ada utk menghayati, apatah lagi mencatat disini. At this age, like other kid at his age, he is soooooo funny. n soooooo nakal. suka bercakap..lots an lots of new vocabs, new sentenses, new funny things yg aku rasa exclusive antara satu toddlers dgn toddlers yg lain. Kekadang bila nak marah sgt pun bleh bertukar jd marah tersengih..tp kena kontrol sengih la sbb kang dia nampak dia ingat kita x serius plak marah dia. Sekarang ariz cukup suka buat sommersault, melompat ala power rangers dan memanjat. Pantang nampak apa yg lebih tinggi mesti dia panjat. sampai rak buku pun habis dipanjatnya.

Ariz agak cepat dr segi percakapan tp dr segi perkembangan lain slow sikit compare to anak2 kengkawan. Mungkin benar kata org tua kalau badan cepat mulut lambat skit, kalau mulut cepat badan lak lambat. So utk my first baby, ni lah rekod nya...
Meniarap @ 4 bln
Tarik dada @ 6 bln
Duduk tanpa disokong @ 6 bulan
Merangkak @ 7 bln
Berjalan @ 10 bln
Berlari @ 15 bln
Memanjat @ 20 bulan
Gigi pertama @ 6 bulan
Gigi terakhir @ 15 bulan
Full word @ forgot
Full sentense @ forgot, tau2 dah pandai ckp macam2

Language Preference
Sejak kecil Ariz cenderung kpd bahasa Arab. Mungkin kerana sejak dlm kandungan aku suka lagukan zikir2 dlm arabic n bila dah lahir pun aku suka dodoi ngan nasyid2 arab. Plg ariz suka ialah nasyid 'LailahaillaAllah' yusuf islam. kalo nak tdo mesti nyanyi lagu tu. Mungkin sbb setiap hari dengar, aku masih ingat waktu umur dia 8 bln dia dah boleh sebut 'Muhammadan Rasullullah' dgn sedikit pelat. Tp mmg kalo apa2 yg dlm arabic dia boleh tangkap dgn cepat. belum masuk 2 tahun dia dah hafal alif ba ta sampai habis (sbb selalu pasang CD iqra' kot) tp kalo one, two, three..hampeh..dia main hafal tunggang terbalik. Seblm lahir aku pernah bincang ngan abg n kami decide utk aku communicate ngan dia in English n abah in Malay. Tp ariz mmg tak suka kalo aku speaking ngan dia. Ada sekali time pulang dr keje, aku jwb semua soklan dia in English..then dia ckp..'mama, xmo ckp tu!'. Dia boleh sebut perkataan arab dgn jelas tp kalo english selalunya kureng..hehe..

Weight n height - this chart show it all. Ariz use to be big fat baby (selalu duk kat line obese kalo pakai chart baby Malaysia). See http://arizimran.fotopages.com for pic of him. Tp lately dia semakin meng'ganas' so berat badan maintain 15kg sejak umur 20 bulan. Tinggi pun maintain 90 cm sejak umur 2 tahun. So, overall perkembangan yg normal, Alhamdulillah.
Lagu2 yg dia suka nyanyi..

sebelum umur setahun (Pok amai2, air pasang pagi, nenek2 si bongkok tiga, baa baa black sheep, twinkle2, little indian)

Then besar sikit dia suka nyanyi lagu ummi (favourite dia), my mother, happy birthday, lagu2 aeman (plg dia suka ikut lagu selamat hari jadi 'Allah selamatkan kamu...'

baru2 ni dia balik sambil nyanyi..'icabela adalah...' n 'aku memang pencinta wanita....' haiyya..apa nak jd anak aku nih..terpengaruh ngan budak2 kat umah babysitter dia agaknya..ada2 je lagu2 baru yg dia bawak balik.

Hobi
Hobi ariz yg paling ketara ialah menulis n membaca. Dia boleh hadap buku berjam2 semata2 untuk menconteng. n pernah satu ketika (umur between 15 to 20 months) dia mesti baca buku sblm tdo. This thing aku rasa sbb dia selalu tgk aku x penah lekang dgn buku so dia terikut2 kot.



(sempat lg menconteng ketika taklimat kat sekolah Pak Su)


Istilah2 yg Ariz guna
'Qur'an' - semua buku bertulisan jawi
'1, 2, 3' - kamera
'sudu tajam' - garfu
'tulih ulat' - menconteng
.....

If you can turn back time..

This morning, Ifa had comes with a question that lingers in my mind until i had a chance to jot it down here. Any 'if you ever.....' are always an interesting question to ask coz it opens up our mind to a lot of possibilities.

Being asked that question, i gave her two things that that first comes into my mind.
1. i wanna fix everything related to my wedding day, from the selection of date, the working committee up to the most stupid things that i did on that day. Imagine me in my wedding cloth, running to my neighbour's house on a 'very lecak' lane, left my just '2 hours wedded husband', only to help my friend push her car. Totally unacceptable and i can't give a reason for that. Maybe it's because of the feeling of 'awkwardness' being left together with my husband make me feel the need to go somewhere as an excuse. Later, I did ask my hubby about it , and his comments, 'sayang sgt kat kwn dia tu..'

2. I wanna do my best on my years at Liverpool so that i did not end up with this 'cukup makan' result. I always dream of myself further my studies somewhere overseas. i'm not kind of person who love that kind of profession, but the 'going overseas for free' part. Maybe because of my insincere intention, God does not grant me my wishes..Perabih boreh gomen ajer..After all, I wonder if i ever this dream comes true, i may not be working at this wonderful company with a great job and have whatever i have today.

No matter what, whatever happen would never be turned back. Just live your life to the fullest and always think before doing anything. No regret!

21 types of bosses

Today i had a super bz time in the morning..feeling like a pair of hands and a mouth are not enough..everything just came at the same time. The business visits, change of arrangements, the OHSAS problems, the Dato' coming when person in charge is on leave, handle inquiry from clients, the bos asking for 1985 records, and a lot more things in between 8 to 10. Ifa is on leave today. Now i realize how grateful i'm to her who handle all this when i'm very bz with OHSAS.

All the requests and demands really make me like a robot, but nothing compared to terrible time dealing with one of my boss, oppss..two.. I think one of them is The screamer + teflon boss and another is the idiot + clueless + 2 minutes boss, which are enough to make my working life as hell..but i believe in the principle u can't change others but u can change yourself...

1. The Martyr Boss
The martyr boss has done, does, and always will do anything for the good of the company. He has worked Christmas Day, with pneumonia, in a snowstorm. He walked to and from work for 5 weeks after his car accident, with both legs broken. He stays every night until 8 pm without extra pay. How do you compete? You don’t. You listen. He’ll probably be there way past retirement, so it’s best to learn how to deal with him early on.

2. The Screamer Boss
The screamer boss seems to think that he will get his way if he raises his voice to an unconscionable level: the higher the volume, the higher the commitment. How does a screamer end up a boss? Some clueless hiring managers equate screaming with managerial skill. All in all, screamers just want to know that they’re being heard, and they want recognition. If you can get along with your screamer boss, and gain his respect and trust, perhaps you can help guide him to lower tones.

3. The Fearmonger Boss
People do what a “fearsome” boss says because they’re afraid of him, which actually encourages further intimidation. He always has a threat, and he constantly follows through with that threat in order to keep his employees acquiescent. This boss has a high turnover rate as he fires employees to keep up the fear factor, and good employees leave him, refusing to work for such an ogre. A fearsome boss cannot last. Eventually, he will burn out every employee he has, and an organization’s bottom line cannot sustain the costs involved. Karma will get this one.

4. The Manipulator Boss
Also known as the Machiavellian boss, this type is extremely intelligent and one of the most dangerous. The manipulator boss is highly focused, very motivated, and always has a secret plan. He looks at people as a means to an end. The world is a giant pyramid and the apex is his. People he touches or runs over on the way to the top are casualties he writes off. If you work for a manipulator, watch your back. Your best bet is to be open and honest with him. Volunteer information. Your boss, who has long forgotten what truth is, will be left impressed by it.

5. The Bumbler Boss
The bumbler boss is the dunce of the bosses. The best way to deal with your bumbler boss is to help get him promoted. When bumblers are promoted, they are notorious for promoting the people underneath them. Besides, sooner than later, executives will see your boss for the dunce that he is, and he’ll be shipped off somewhere. Now of course, following this advice makes you somewhat of a manipulator, but if you can’t get out from under him, why not help you both climb up? You’re not responsible for what happens at the top.

6. The Clueless Boss
The clueless boss is not dumb – he’s just uneducated. Perhaps he just started with the company, is unfamiliar with the technology, or is temporarily out-of-touch due to personal problems. A clueless boss can be a good boss who is just off-track at the moment. The best way to deal with this type of boss is to teach him, and bring him up to speed. You’ll be surprised at how fast he comes around, and he’ll have you to thank!

7. The Old-Schooler
The old-schooler dwells on the good ol’ days, on “the way things used to be.” However, if he is so entrenched in the past, eventually he will stop being able to function in the present. An old-school boss, despite his resistance to move on, does have a great deal of information and can contribute to the best interests of your organization, as long as he is able to accept gradual amounts of change with guidance. Be patient, and try to remember that “new” is not necessarily better – it’s “different.” See if you can get him to that point.

8. The God Boss
The god boss, a true megalomaniac, is about power. You’ll notice the engraved gold plate on his office door, desk, and chair proclaiming his rank. He might take outrageous liberties like having an employee clean out his car. When you question him, he’ll just point to the gold plates. Rest assured that his cloak of power hides great incompetence. How to get along with a god boss? Humour him. Follow his rules, and create the illusion you’re doing things his way. Remember, he’ll never control your mind.

9. The Teflon Boss
This non-stick boss is especially prominent in public affairs. Any blame slides right off him. He does not give straight answers to straight questions. If something goes wrong, unparalleled documented evidence surfaces to prove he was somewhere else at the time. The non-stick boss is more of a nuisance than a danger. When dealing with him, it’s best to keep detailed accounts and records of your conversations.

10. The What Boss?
The what boss? is always missing in action. He becomes harmless because he’s just never there. When he’s in the office, take advantage of his presence. You’ll feel miffed at the lack of justice – you slaving in your cubicle eight hours a day, five days a week for half his salary, while he’s out on the golf course... but remember – it could be much worse. You could have a screamer.

11. The Paranoid Boss
The paranoid boss is outright suspicious of everyone’s motives. Anything anyone does could be attempts to undermine him. This boss’ feelings of inadequacy will clearly end up interfering in what’s best for the company and his employees. What you can do? Reassure him, and always be honest and forthright.

12. The World-on-his-shoulders Boss
Though this boss might present himself as tough, he can barely hide his inadequacies. He absorbs the world’s worries, and worries for the world. He frets about little details. He arrives at the office in the morning, flushed and frazzled, because he was lying awake the night before agonizing over numbers and orders. How to deal? Be gentle, but try to avoid much interaction if you can. The nervousness can be contagious.

13. The Buzzword Boss
The buzzword boss loves his designer clothes, cars, pen, and toothbrush. What he loves even more are those clichés he heard at the latest management seminar. Get your barf buckets ready folks, this boss adores the fact that, remarkably, there’s no “I” in team, that he can’t spell success without “u,” and that for him to assume would make an “ass” out of “u” and “me.” Though not for the easily queasy, this boss is essentially harmless. Grin and bear it. And, if you can – teach him some new words on a regular basis.

14. The Buddy Boss
The buddy boss wants to be your friend, not your “superior.” He wants you to like him, and because friends stick up for friends, it might be a good investment to spend some time with him. However, be forewarned: hanging out with buddy boss during your work hours could have you working nights to keep up. The key here is balance.

15. The Two-minute Boss
The two-minute boss is a cross between a god boss and a world-on-his-shoulders boss. He impulsively demands control over situations (“What have you done when I was on vacation?”) and then cuts off your answer two minutes in because he doesn’t have time to discuss it. He frequently, yet randomly, asks you to write reports on your progress, but will rarely remember that he’s asked. The two-minute boss constantly gives the impression that he is way too busy to bother with details. His head is always somewhere else – somewhere more important. Working for this boss is an exercise in the art of speaking concisely. Try to fit everything you have to say in a two-minute timeframe, and see what happens.

16. The Patronizing Boss
The patronizing boss is an old-school martyr. Didn’t you know? - he built the company from the ground up! In fact, he made the chair you’re sitting in. You, as an underling, need his holiness’s guidance to see you through the most mundane and simple of tasks. His help, however, always leads to – you guessed it - trouble. How to deal with the King of Condescension? Try a little deflation. Ask him how is it that someone as knowledgeable and talented as him is working for this little company.

17. The Idiot Boss
The idiot boss is characterized by cluelessness and stupidity. It’s as if he just walked into the office yesterday and started running it. Your choices here can be limited. Doing nothing will leave you embittered, but what can you do when you can’t change an idiot? Well, you can change your reaction. The world is full of idiots in charge, but don’t let it get you down. Do your personal best, and realize that in some way, your boss serves a purpose. Figure out what it is.

18. Lone Wolf Boss
The lone wolf prefers to ride solo. He stays in his office or works from home, avoiding human contact, especially employee interaction. He could be a tech whiz who was promoted based on his outstanding hard skills, but he’s not necessarily a people person. The lone wolf boss leaves you on your own, so don’t expect teamwork or career goal discussions. Look to build your work and networking relationships elsewhere.

19. The Perfectionist
The perfectionist is a micro-manager who likes to control all of your work. The behaviour is obsessive, and leaves you with very little trust in your own abilities. Over time, you’ll learn that nothing you do will ever be good enough for him. Instead of losing all motivation, learn to work for yourself and your own standards. At one point, sit down with your boss and ask him to explain his expectations (even put them in writing) so you both can “get on the same page.”

20. The Eccentric
The eccentric boss has unrealistic expectations for his staff. He has a unique way of completing his work, and expects his employees to work in the same manner. He can be gentle, but often causes confusion around his expectations and explanations of projects. This boss is likely to play favourites (as he gravitates towards others with similar interests). The eccentric boss would most likely rather be doing something else, and sometimes this will show.

21. The Great Boss
Ahh, the great boss – the supportive motivator - the boss who treats everyone with fairness regardless of politics. He communicates, keeps an open door policy, and encourages others to follow suit. He leads by example, provides superior training, and a positive work environment. He has vision, is not afraid, and doesn’t scream. He coaches his staff, and when employees leave, they will talk about him for years to come.

P/s .. i hope my subordinates will rate me as no 21..:D

Ariz Kecederaan

Last Thursday at 11p.m, Ariz had an accident. the one that happen when we least expected it. With his hyper active activity lately, any accident is not possible. But this one does not happen during his 'power rangers' session, instead it happen when he behaves politely. He just slide down the sofa and then bump! his head seems to unbalance and hit the edge of coffee table. Me and abg are just sitting in front of him watching TV. What i remember next is that his face is full of blood, and my kaftan too.. i can't help myself crying coz kesian sgt tgk dahi dia terbelah. 'Mujo' abg was at home at that time. Kalo dia takde camne lah aku nak drive memalam dgn penglihatan ku yg rabun ayam nih..:)

Yg peliknya, just a few minutes after that, he became more active as if nothing had happened, tho masa tu darah still mengalir. Biar betul budak ni. Sampaikan doc ingatkan aku bawak sorg abang lagi yg duk buat bising dlm dressing room. rupa-rupanya pesakit tu sendiri. Then tiba masa mencuci n menjahit. Masa tu baru tau meraung! Kena 3 jahitan. Kesiannya anak mama..:(

So the next day i had to take emergency leave. And on that day also, my friend's mom passed away due to cancer..(Takziah to Linda n Leen)

p/s- my friend ask me whether i had conduct the HIRARC prior to buy the coffee table...wakaka..i had not think about that before..